When I began creating my web site a couple of years ago, my web master and I discussed colors, designs, links, etc. The one item he asked me to consider was a tag line. I had a difficult time creating just three or four words to describe my writing. Finally, after much thought, I settled on Faith With Substance; it summed up the content of my writing and the strength I wished for in my walk with God.
Now, two years after creating my web site, I’ve been given the opportunity to learn what it means to have faith with substance. A little over three months ago, I experienced a distinct weakness on my left side. I immediately called for an appointment with my neurologist. The MRI test results of my brain showed no new stroke activity (I had a stroke when I was 2 years old), but the MRA test results of my neck showed low blood flow in my middle cerebral artery. The neurologist suspected I had had a stroke, but he wanted more tests to be sure. Jeff and I asked about best case and worst case scenarios. The best case was quickly dismissed with “we do nothing.” That sounded too easy, so we prodded the neurologist for the other options. Without going into the gory details, it involved an asymmetrical haircut and a hole in my head.
After many hole pokes in my arm and tubes to lie in for hours, I had to wait. Wait for the results. I don’t like to wait. Waiting in line at the grocery store even gets to me. So, I pulled out the verses I copied several years ago when He made me wait for my writing to take shape and get accepted. I read and reread those verses, hoping the period of waiting would pass by quickly.
I will admit that every conceivable ‘worst case scenario’ crossed my mind during the week I waited for the results. Every time the thought of what my health issue would do to my family crept into my thoughts, I forced myself to push those thoughts away. Instead, I chose to focus on God. What God had already done in my life. How He daily provides for me and my three boys. What a wonderful and blessed family He’s given me. How He would give me the strength and faith I would need to go through whatever treatment the doctors said I needed. I was counting on God. My narrow perspective of my problems broadened to a God perspective. (Thanks, Alan!)
The week of waiting was difficult, but the news I received was worth the wait. My neurologist decided I’d indeed had a mini-stroke, but I would only need to continue on my aspirin regimen and physical therapy. No brain bypass surgery. No new haircut (even though I’d like to do something different with this wild curly hair!). No long-term health problems. After celebrating the wonderful news, I spent some time reflecting. I believe God was with me every step of the way. It was easy to see God’s hand throughout all I experienced. This was one of those few times I’ve actually felt God’s Presence.
The biggest ‘Aha! moment’ was when I decided my health scare truly caused my faith to add a few layers of substance. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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