A Place to Call Home: The Flip Side of Homelessness
H-O-M-E. Four powerful letters knit together.
Most of us take home for granted. Not Addlia*.
She truly understands what the other 553,742 homeless people in the United States in 2017 faced when they didn’t have a place to call home. Addlia and her son, Jaiden, were among those statistics just a year earlier.
* Her real name is used with permission.
Tough Word
Home has been a tough word for Addlia all her life. Her parents divorced when she was ten years old. Dad was a functioning drug addict, and her relationship with her mom was rocky.
A boy she had previously dated decided to push the limits one night when Addlia was 16. Her “NO” didn’t stop him from raping her. When she learned the rape resulted in a pregnancy, her mother and grandmother encouraged her to have an abortion.
“I remember feeling that precious life being sucked out of me. I fell into a deep sadness and closed myself off.”
Promise to God
Home was no longer where she wanted to be, so she moved in with a friend her senior year of high school.
A relationship in college led to an unexpected pregnancy. “My mother and grandmother thought an abortion was the best path, but I’d made a promise to God that I would never have another abortion.”
It was a lonely time for her as her family was unsupportive and the father was not involved. “Despite everyone else’s reaction to my pregnancy, I was happy and grateful for the life growing inside of me.”
Her Dream Job
Needing help with her newborn son, Addlia moved in with her best friend. “During the year I lived with her, I felt God telling me He needed me. My physical life wasn’t in danger, but my soul was. I gave my life to him.”
Learning to be a single mom was not easy, but with her best friend’s help, Addlia became stronger mentally and emotionally.
Moving back to her grandmother’s house in Atlanta offered her the opportunity to start cosmetology school. Landing her dream job at the MAC cosmetics counter validated the work it took to get her cosmetology license.
But, three hours one-way on the train and bus to get to and from work took a toll on Addlia. Seven years of this was a test of her endurance.
She dreamed of having her own home and her own transportation to get her to a job nearby. Was that too much to ask?
Positive Changes
Positive changes finally began happening in 2011. Addlia and Jaiden moved in with her aunt. Addlia owned and ran a salon suite.
“I finally felt empowered: I owned my own business; someone gave me a car; I was active at church; and my son was doing well in school.”
Life seemed to be heading in the right direction. Until . . . Addlia began experiencing anxiety and panic attacks. “They were terrifying. I was truly afraid I was going to stop breathing. At least once a week, I was in the emergency room. I finally admitted I was depressed.”
Her doctor diagnosed her with high blood pressure, and a neurologist discovered she’d been having mini-strokes and had an underlying anxiety disorder.
Worked Three Jobs
Because of these health problems, she had to close the salon. So, her job and its income were gone. Her health was suffering. And her aunt, whom she’d been living with, was going into foreclosure.
Sixty percent of homeless women have children. [NOTE: Addlia and her son are now facing homelessness and joblessness again.]
Resilience is just what Addlia is made of, so she moved back to Albany. After two months of living with her best friend, Addlia was financially able to rent her own apartment. A permanent home!
But to keep this permanent home, she worked three jobs: at a college bookstore, at a call center, and at a makeup store. Each month, her hours were cut at each of her three jobs. Each month for a year, she faced eviction.
“By the end of that year, I lost all three jobs AND my apartment.”
29% of adults in homeless families are working. [NOTE: Addlia has consistently worked three jobs at a time in an effort to not be homeless.]
Two Months at a Homeless Shelter
Knowing each of those jobs were heading in the wrong direction, Addlia proactively took a job at a hotel. Her manager was aware she and Jaiden spent some nights at a homeless shelter. When a room wasn’t booked for a night here and there, he would allow them to spend the night in that room.
As much as her manager helped her, she and Jaiden spent two months at a homeless shelter. “I was ashamed and embarrassed, because I never thought I’d be that low,” Addlia remembers. “Keeping my sanity and focus was a daily fight. I refused to look like what I was going through.”
Addlia believed God was shaping and molding her. Building her character for her future self was painful, but knowing God was with her gave her the strength to keep getting up, going to work, and maintaining a positive attitude.
Rock Bottom
“When we left the homeless shelter, my manager helped us stay in unreserved hotel rooms as long as he could. Until the hotel was sold out for a few days. So, I worked every shift so that I had somewhere to go.”
After a week of non-stop working, her manager supported her idea about moving back to Atlanta. Doing makeup and hair for a wedding in Atlanta confirmed it was time to move. With no job, no transportation, and no home, Addlia and Jaiden moved in with a friend in Atlanta.
“I hit rock bottom. By this time, I’d given up on myself, my calling, my purpose. No one knew how depressed and suicidal I was. I thought about killing myself often. But I would imagine Jaiden’s reaction if he found me dead, and I would fight another day.”
A Light for Others
Some would’ve turned their backs on God, but not Addlia. “Through all the darkness and pain, I continually talked to God. He was the only one I knew I could trust. I didn’t like where I was, because I knew it wasn’t of God. The battle was in my mind, and I was going to fight.”
She hit rock bottom, stayed there for a while, and then she came out fighting. With a stronger and even more resilient mindset.
“I made a choice to change my mindset. I decided to be grateful for everything I had and was going through, because I believed what I was learning would help someone else. God purposed me for greater. Being a light for others fueled me.”
No Longer Be Ashamed of Her Story
With the help of her mentor, Addlia and Jaiden moved into an extended stay hotel. They lived there for a year and a half. A job at a salon helped her regain her purpose.
Deciding she would no longer be ashamed of her story, she posted a video on Facebook. “It was raw and truthful and scary, but there was an overwhelmingly positive response. In fact, it led to my first speaking engagement.”
Adding to her salon job, Addlia began working as a night auditor at a hotel and as a personal assistant to an executive. These three jobs allowed her to save enough money to move into an apartment and buy a car two years ago.
A Place to Call Home
Since then, Addlia and her son have had A PLACE TO CALL HOME! And that home means the world to them.
While some of us have never thought twice about where we will sleep at night, she has fought and continues to fight hard to keep the four precious letters of H-O-M-E knit together.
During the twenty years Addlia experienced one form of homeless or another, she never gave up. Here’s what she learned: “It’s one thing to be overlooked, devalued, or underestimated by others, but don’t overlook, devalue, or underestimate yourself. Don’t give up on yourself. Life can be rough, but don’t stay buried under the dust. Let that time polish you, so you can shine brighter than ever. Your sparkle is needed to encourage someone else in their rough patch.”
Leave a reply (below): No matter how many setbacks Addlia has encountered, she believes, “Overcoming is having the courage to make a comeback.” Comebacks definitely take courage.
Addlia, I knew a little about your journey, but I had no idea of the long-term intense struggle you have weathered! What strength and grace! Thankful you never let go of God! I am so very proud of you! I claim God’s favor over you and that your speaking career will grow to the point you never have to think about money. Many blessings on you and your sweet boy! Keep Shining, Love!
You are a pillar of strength to your son and most importantly to yourself. Grace and gratefulness can move mountains. I’ve worked with high school youth in the past as a volunteer, and one of the key tenets taught was gratefulness, because it’s impossible to feel bad if you’re grateful for something. You take that conviction to a whole new level, and I am amazed by your strength and tenacity to repeatedly claw your way to a more stable life for you and your son. He is a fortunate young man. God bless and I hope the future holds great things for you.
Thank you Diane! I love you! I promise to keep shining!!!
Thank you Brooke!! I am truly grateful! I have the choice to give up or keep going and I am no quitter!!!! I appreciate you!
Love you hunny!! The Lord is on your side and I look forward to what He has on store for you. ??. You are consistently an encouragement to me and many others.
That means the world to me!!! ?
I’m so proud of your strength,growth,tenacity and strength!!!!!God is going to make it good for you This I know!….Total Recovery!!!!❤️
Amen!!! I receive that!!! ❤️
I am so grateful to have meet you the season of when I did … God used you to minister to me in my brokenness!!! Your story is amazing, healing , and most of all it shows the love of Christ!!! Keep this momentum up sis !!! You ROCK‼️?✅?❤️
Awwww you absolutely rock!!! I thank God for using me to touch people like you! So grateful to have you ?
From the time we met I knew there was a jewel inside you-it’s your vibrant spirit. Satan has and may continue to throw his darts your way but you keep showing him that your God has an even greater game plan for you and your life. You are such an inspiration to others to keep fighting! You help others to sparkle too. Your story is only beginning.
Game on!!! Living! Loving and Sparkling!!! Thank you Mitzi!!! Love you ?
Addlia!! I’m so blessed by your transparency, trust and faith in God. You didn’t give up when you could have. Your resiliency will bless and lift others facing the same or similar situations. I see you writing a book to tell your story that will empower, bless and encourage others to keep going when they want to give up! Love you to life! Love, Nedra
I love you Nedra!!! Working on the book now!!! ?
Addlia you are one of the strongest women I know. Not just because of the struggles you’ve been through, but because of the faith you’ve kept in the mist of where you’ve been. I agree with you, I believe God is using you to reach those who are homeless, hopeless, sick, and depressed. And though the enemy tries to knock you down, I know that you WILL prosper because God IS on your side! I look forward to everything that God will bring forth through you!! Thank you for sharing your testimony
I appreciate you Crystal!!! Thank you for your encouragement!!
Addlia – You have an awesome story! Keep strong!!!!
Thank you!!
You have always had a larger than life personality and faith in God! I’ve heard your testimony but didn’t realize just how intense and hard your life has really been. You are so strong and beautiful and a great mom and friend! Always thank God for little blessings and never give up hope for a better day! Love you!!!
Love you ?
Addlia, I’m so very proud of you and Jaiden! It takes courage to share a testimony such as yours. Keep pushing, keep fighting and keep persevering. But most importantly, always be aware of your feelings as to understand when a “no” is needed. You and your son are always the top priority! Love you!
Thank you!!
We see people we “know” only to find out we never really “know” people unless we take the time to care! All I can ever remember is that smiling face and kind spirit! I think the last time I bumped into you it was at Target. I wish I would’ve known all the hardships you were going through?! Through it all you’ve persevered AND that speaks volumes to who you are as a person! I applaud the fact that you never gave up on GOD because so many times we do. We question, we deny and we lean on our own understanding instead of trusting in him and the process! It takes courage to be transparent but we never know who we help heal through our own stories of trial and tribulation! I happy to see things working in your favor! Never forget your Dancing Diva big sis is a call away! I might not have much but I’m willing to share what I can??
Thank you Shunte!!! Trust me there were times I wanted to give up and throw in the towel!!! It’s all a part of the process!!! appreciate you!!! I’m so glad to still be connected to you after all these years!!! Love you so much my Dancing Diva Big Sister!!!! ?
What a powerful testimony that testifies to the goodness of God and the strength, courage and hope you found in Him through your journey! I’m so grateful that you had your son, Jaiden, that kept you going during those times of deep darkness and mental anguish! I’ve been suicidal and know that dark place of despair and hopelessness! That’s why I’m so glad you had God and your son to keep you going until you were able to see a glimmer of light and hope for your life! I’m so glad you didn’t give up on YOU! I love that you decided to change your perspective! Sounds like you started seeing things from your heavenly position in Christ Jesus…as victorious instead of defeated! So GREAT! I also love what you said…“It’s one thing to be overlooked, devalued, or underestimated by others, but don’t overlook, devalue, or underestimate yourself. Don’t give up on yourself….” That really stuck out to me! I know you sharing your story will inspire others to realize they have value and not to give up on themselves and life! Your story offers people a life-line attached to hope! You are one tough lady and I think you are priceless in the kingdom of God! I know God is and will continue doing GREAT things through you!!! Woohoo ..What a testimony!
Wow!!! I appreciate you Diane!!! Thank you for taking the time to read my story and imparting amazing encouragement in me!!!
Congratulations Addlia! The Lord will use your story to encourage many! I love how you chose to be grateful. May Jesus continue to bless you and your son!
Thank you Candy! A grateful heart is a blessed heart!
Addlia! I am so happy to have gotten to meet you! I love you sweet girl!!!!
I love you my darling!!! ?
God shall use you in a great way. He already is. I’m so very proud of you. Thank you for being transparent. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength! Keep smiling, keep sharing your story., keep moving forward with your hand in Gods hand. He has you wrapped safety in His arms. Love you lady!!!!
I appreciate you for your encouragement and love towards me. Thank you for taking a glimpse into my story!
You have a huge amount of strength. I know that God worked in your life and I’m so happy he did. You have beat all kinds of odds and have been blessed for it. Keep up your strength and live a happy and full life with your son.
I love the fact that you have the resilience to bounce back. Always standing on the promises of our God is what your story reminds me of.