Determined Resolve

Darlene* believes, “You have to trust in God, because He can take a bad situation and turn it into good.” Being born two and a half months premature and weighing two pounds and seven and a half ounces could easily be considered a bad situation. Darlene’s seventeen year old mother heard the doctors say her baby would not likely live, but if she did, she would be blind and never be able to learn academically. Her young mother possessed an overcomer’s attitude and chose not to believe them.

*Her real name, used with permission.

Her Mother’s Determined Resolve

Instead, her mother opened her Bible and found Matthew 7:7. It says, “Ask and it will be given to you.” She prayed this verse and believed her baby girl wasn’t going to die.

Darlene’s diagnosis of cerebral palsy spastic type was given when Darlene was a year and a half old. Her mom didn’t understand why her relatives wanted her to be on “the draw.” But, she later learned being on “the draw” meant free benefits because of her disability.

With determined resolve, Darlene’s mother told her relatives, “She’s going to grow up to be normal.” Darlene remembers doing chores and learning to cook despite her balance issues and her right foot being partially paralyzed.

Darlene’s step-father was an alcoholic and abusive, which created chaos in her home. Her mother was very loving, but didn’t create boundaries for Darlene. Living with an alcoholic and having no boundaries set her up for the type of man she chose for her first love.

Childhood Challenges

Because of her poor balance and her special shoes, Darlene tripped often. She remembers trying to get up the steps of her home and her grandparents trying to help her. She shouted, “I can do it myself!” which demonstrated the determined resolve she possessed.

Darlene enjoyed school and found the academic expectations easy. Her teachers treated her like any other student, but the students did occasionally tease her. Thankfully she had several friends who were very accepting of her struggles.

At the age of thirteen, she had to have surgery to release the ball and socket joint between her hip and right leg. They also lengthened her heel chords to help her walk better. All these years later, Darlene tells me that hip socket is too loose and requires chiropractic adjustments.

Darlene didn’t learn to drive until she was eighteen because she was overly cautious and afraid of hurting others.

Adult Life

Darlene graduated from the University of Georgia with a teaching degree in early childhood education. She moved back home and began looking for a teaching position. An opportunity to be a house parent for several mentally challenged women turned her attention away from teaching for a while. During this time, Darlene met a man and got married.

Their six years of marriage was filled with verbal abuse and her husband’s sneaky and manipulative behavior. Discovering he had a girlfriend was the last straw, and Darlene asked for a divorce.

After the divorce, Darlene began teaching second grade. She even had the privilege of teaching several students who also had cerebral palsy. Understanding their challenges gave Darlene the opportunity to share her determined resolve to overcome with them. She says, “I’m grateful to be able to teach students and influence them.”

Learning From the Past

Darlene decided to begin counseling because she knew the importance of learning about the past and making better choices for the future. Her counselor taught her about boundaries in relationship and seeing the red flags when those boundaries were crossed. She shares that she learned, “Growing up in chaos makes you want a ‘bad guy’ because of the chaos he brings. My counselor told me I might miss a ‘good guy’ because he may seem boring.”

Her counselor asked her to introduce another of her client’s to the church group Darlene was a part of. At first, this man seemed shy and quiet. As Darlene is outgoing and talkative, they were definitely opposites. But her counselor’s words kept ringing in her ears. Three months after they met, Darlene and William (not his real name) got married.

Her Determined Resolve

Darlene retired after thirty years of teaching classes of Kindergartners, 1st graders, and 2nd graders. She still loves to be with the children, so she volunteers at the school often, teaching kids how to knit. Yes, even the boys. Not only does she teach kids to knit, she teaches it to adults in the community.

Now that she has much more free time, her determined resolve is to live healthily and enjoy her hobbies. Darlene would have loved to be a tennis player or an athlete of any kind, but her struggles have kept her from those things. Instead, she rides a stationary bike and does hydro aerobics several times a week.

Darlene will always have struggles because of her cerebral palsy, but she believes, “You have to believe in yourself. Growing up, people told me just to be a cripple. But I wanted more from my life.” This definitely is the attitude of an overcomer!

Share With Me: Think on this quote from William Hazlitt and share your thoughts: “Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater.”