Every Step I Take

Growing up believing that excelling in athletics earned her dad’s approval,  Cindy* knew the diagnosis of a disease which affected her motor and sensory nerves would cause him to treat her as a “less than.” The same way he had already begun to treat her younger brothers who also had Charcot Marie Tooth (CMT) disease.

* Her real name, used with permission.

The Power of Words

Cindy understood the power of words during the years she was a star athlete in high school by the many positive comments she received from her dad and others. She equated acceptance and approval with performance. If she didn’t perform well, she didn’t feel she had much value.

During college, Cindy began noticing her ankles were getting weaker and weaker. She didn’t believe it was possible to have the same neuromuscular disease her brothers had because doctors said it only affected males. Her symptoms proved otherwise. She eventually had to face the truth that she too had Charcot Marie Tooth (CMT) disease.

No longer the star athlete, she believed she was a disappointment to her dad and others. Not caring about her weight or how she looked became part of her mindset, as did withdrawing emotionally and physically. She began to believe what her dad said: “You will not have a normal life. You will probably never date or get married because of your disability.”

Every Step I Take

Because CMT affects the foot and leg muscles, Cindy had three surgeries when she was twenty three. At that time, her doctor advised her to control her weight as there would always be three times the pressure of an average person on her feet and legs. Any extra weight would cause more complications. Since then, she has been very diligent with her diet.

The surgeries were helpful, but Cindy has had to wear braces on both legs for support and stability for the past twenty years. CMT has definitely impacted how Cindy walks. For most of us, we really don’t think about what our body goes through to put one foot in front of the other to walk wherever we need to go. But Cindy shared with me, “For every step I take, I have to think.”

Breaking Down the Walls

Her father’s words about being “less than” caused Cindy to seek acceptance from the wrong type of guys during high school and college. But on a flight to Dallas to visit a friend, she met Bob. They talked a while and exchanged numbers.

Once they were both back in Atlanta, they began dating.  A healthy relationship and words of encouragement for who she was rather than what she did began breaking down the walls her father’s words and the disease had built around her. Perhaps he was the right kind of guy.

To test the waters, Cindy shared with Bob about her health struggles. “It never bothered him,” she remembers. “He even accepted the fact that my disease could be passed down to my children.” Cindy and Bob married a year after meeting on that flight to Dallas. They have two grown children. Last year, they celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary with a trip to Cancun.

From Worthless to Inspiring

CMT is a progressive disease, and there is no cure. So when Cindy turned forty, she decided to focus on what she could do instead of what she couldn’t do. She began working out her upper body by lifting weights and doing upper body strength exercises.

Body building helped improve her self-esteem and her self-worth. Others learned of her overcoming story and were inspired by her level of fitness. She had gone from feeling worthless to inspiring others.

She was interviewed on an Accent Health segment on CNN. Articles and pictures of her were published in Muscle & Fitness Hers magazine and Oxygen magazine. In 2008, she was nominated by Living Beautiful Radio as one of the Top Ten Women in Fitness.

 

Deal With Your Insecurities

Even with the successes in bodybuilding and her improved self-esteem, old insecurities die hard. Cindy lost a very special relationship which she attributes to those insecurities causing her to fear rejection. Although a painful experience, God has used that loss to reveal some areas in her heart that needed healing and to teach her some valuable lessons.

Her advice: “Make your relationship with God the highest priority of your life. Only He can meet the need we all have for acceptance and unconditional love. Do the hard work and allow him to help you deal with deep-rooted insecurities that may influence your behavior in a negative way. Experiences in our past may be reasons we feel and behave a certain way, but they are not an excuse.”

Never Give Up

The progressive nature of CMT is such that Cindy’s fine motor skills in her hands have been affected. Even though her legs are continually losing strength and she may eventually need to use a wheelchair, Cindy has decided she will never give up. In her words: “Don’t give up. Do the best you can with what you have for as long as you can!”

 

Share With Me: How can Cindy say “Don’t give up” when she faces ongoing health issues on a daily basis?