Fresh Start
A broken home by age one set the wheels in motion for years upon years of struggle. In a time when divorce wasn’t common, both of her parents quickly remarrying other people was confusing and divided her heart.
Tracy* wouldn’t understand until many years later that when her dad built a Christian family with another woman, it would be THE VERY THING she would need to get a fresh start.
* Her real name is used with permission.
Couldn’t Get Help
Tracy felt uneasy about her mom marrying her second step-dad. “Something just didn’t feel right about him,” Tracy shared. “My mom noticed the change on their honeymoon. Once we all settled into our new blended family, he became very controlling, as well as verbally and physically abusive.” Food became Tracy’s refuge to help her cope.
A specific incident still stands out in Tracy’s mind: When Tracy was ten, her step-dad was about to physically abuse her mom. Her mom signaled Tracy to get help. She ran three doors down, but no one was home. Violence was being inflicted on her mom, and she couldn’t find help. She was too small to stop him. Guilt set in.
After this incident, Tracy’s mom began seeing a counselor. And one night at 2 a.m. when Tracy was in 8th grade, her mom woke her and said, “Quietly pack a bag. We’re heading to an abuse shelter in the morning.”
Couldn’t Have Felt Worse About Myself
A few weeks later, a high-speed chase ensued when Tracy’s step-dad saw them pulling out of a parking lot. His truck hedged their car into a cement pole, causing short-term physical injuries. It was also the beginning of a long-term emotional and rebellious struggle for Tracy.
“I moved from being a people-pleaser to a rebellious teen in an attempt to protect myself. Depression hit me hard. I was in a dark place,” Tracy remembers.
Shortly after the car chase, her step-dad entered a psychiatric hospital. “I, too, went to counseling, but it was a terrible experience. My counselor made me feel as if I was to blame for everything that had happened in my life. I couldn’t have felt worse about myself.”
Looking back on that experience now, she knows out of that difficulty rose her destiny. “My counselor was awful. And I knew after a few sessions with her that I wanted to be a counselor. A good counselor. One who really helped people.”
Manifesting Itself Outwardly
Her mom bravely divorced her step-dad, but finding a new love was all that was on her mind as she’d lost her dad at age nine and longed to fill the hole within her soul.
Being free of her step-dad didn’t free Tracy of her depression. Instead of it just being an internal struggle, her depression began manifesting itself outwardly – wearing dark goth clothing, hanging out with the “punk” crowd, skipping school, smoking, drinking alcohol, and drawing pictures of slitting her wrists.
“I prayed to God to help me, but when He didn’t, I hated Him. So, I prayed to the devil. I told him I’d serve him if he’d help me.” Tracy felt the pull to kill herself daily – going so far as trading her watch for a bottle of Speed so she’d have the means to do it.
Can’t Handle Her Anymore
Once Tracy’s mom learned to what extent she was struggling, she called Tracy’s dad and said, “I can’t handle her anymore.” Hearing Tracy’s dark behavior being described caused her dad to respond, “I have a Christian family with two young children. I don’t want them exposed to her in this condition.”
Hearing the exchange between her parents, Tracy screamed into the phone: “If you don’t come get me, I’m going to kill myself!”
“I was serious. I knew I needed a fresh start. If I stayed in that environment, I wouldn’t be here today.”
Loved Me Big
Tracy’s fresh start at her dad’s house came with one rule: You WILL go to church. Anytime the doors are open, you’ll be there.
“I hated his one rule. I hated God,”Tracy remembers. “I went to the youth group activities because it was expected. I was surprised when they looked past my black clothes and pale makeup. They loved me big. When I saw their joy and hope, I slowly began opening up.”
Moving in with her dad, strict rules and all, was exactly what Tracy needed at this critical point in her life. “His home offered stability AND an affirming, loving father figure.”
Fresh Start
Within a year, Tracy felt her heart open to Jesus. While visiting a Christian college with her youth group, Tracy knew it was decision time. “I knew I could play the game or get serious about Jesus. I told him if he could do something with my life, I’d give it to him.”
Hope glimmered through her depression during her prayer. A fresh start with Jesus as her Savior.
A fire for God rose up in Tracy. “I began letting people in and loving them big. I was hungry for God’s Word. Interestingly, other young people came to me when they were struggling. They knew I understood.”
Tracy’s dramatic transformation inspired many, including her own mother, to give their lives to Christ.
Move from Coping to Overcoming
Ashamed of her past and trying to hold it in caused Tracy to fall apart during college. In desperation, she agreed to try counseling again. This time with a Christian counselor.
With her counselor’s help, Tracy learned she needed to embrace and be thankful for the “old” Tracy in order to live in the freedom of the “new” Tracy. Strength gained during the rough times in her life could be carried into her new life in Christ. The rebellious period was her coping mechanism, but it was time to move from coping to overcoming!
“I learned overcoming is daring to believe and hope in God. It’s speaking words of faith over my fears. I could overcome my past by staying faithful to God.”
Another Fresh Start
Instead of starting graduate school right after college graduation, Tracy became a nanny for a few years. It gave her body time to heal after a serious health scare with her liver.
Moving to Atlanta for graduate school opened the door for another fresh start. Not only would she complete the required coursework for counseling and start her counseling career in Atlanta, but she would also meet Mike. Eight months of dating led to a marriage proposal.
As much as she loved Michael, it was difficult for Tracy to fully trust him because of the trauma from her past. When she prayed about it, God’s words encouraged her: “Trust ME. I’m faithful. I’m Michael’s Savior. Therefore, Christ in Michael is faithful.”
“When I began to fully trust Michael, it was a game changer. I was able to conquer my fears of rejection,” Tracy shared. “I believe our marriage of almost 20 years has redeemed and continues to redeem the broken family of my childhood.”
The Preciousness of New Life
When she was 29, Tracy was asked to share her testimony at church. Despite nausea and shaking hands, she described her past struggles and the freedom she found in Christ. The event was a stepping stone into a speaking ministry. Counseling and speaking fulfilled Tracy in unimaginable ways.
Just like many women, Tracy wanted children. She and Michael prayed. And when their daughter was born, she praised God, for Alyssa represented LIFE: the preciousness of new life juxtaposed with memories of wanting to end hers so many times during her teenage years.
Tuesdays with Tracy
Tracy stepped away from full-time counseling when Alyssa was born. She began a weekly blog with the hopes of helping women fulfill their destinies. Two years later, those devotions became a book titled Tuesdays with Tracy: Real-Life Devotions That Speak to the Heart of a Woman. Check out her blog at tracyhurst.com.
Since then, Tracy has continued speaking and counseling part-time. Two years ago, she was blessed with a second daughter, Audrey Grace.
Tracy sums up her writing/speaking/counseling ministries this way: “My heart’s desire is to help women overcome the obstacles (depression, fear, disappointment, etc.) in the path to their destinies. It’s important for women to fulfill their destinies, because others need their God-given gifts.”
As we finished brunch and Tracy’s interview, she said, “You know, life with Christ is full of fresh starts.” I couldn’t agree more!
Leave a reply (below): Tracy shared how Psalm 116:3-5 (Passion translation) describes Christ’s love for her. It says: “Death once stared me in the face, and I was close to slipping into its dark shadows. I was terrified and overcome with sorrow. I cried out to the Lord, ‘God, come and save me!’ He was so kind, so gracious to me. Because of his passion toward me, he made everything right and he restored me.”
How has Christ restored you by giving you a fresh start?
Tracy, so glad you found freedom in Christ. Our past does not define us, but when we are willing to share how Jesus set us free we bring glory to His name. 2 Corinthians 5:17 ~ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new. I know your testimony will change lives. God Bless You!
Thank you Maureen! He is a GOOD God!!!!
Wow! I loved meeting Tracy at the Overcomers Celebration and loved reading her story. Tracy has definitely been through so much but what a blessing she is now to so many.
I SO enjoyed meeting you!!! God is a faithful God!
Thank you, Tracy, for sharing your story. Your life and words are an inspiration to us all. God bless you!
Thanks Kay!!! Many blessings to you!
Tracy, you exude lavish love, grace and pursuit of Christ! You are a champion for women living in the fullness of His love, forgiveness and freedom! Thank you for your story. You inspire and encourage all who know you. So grateful for your transparency, transformation and His redemption! Love you! I don’t know where I’d be without the fresh starts only Jesus can give us!
Holli, I love you right back and I want to thank you for all you do to encourage women!
Tracy, CONGRATS on your “fresh start!” Your story shows your strength and resiliency! You are such an inspiration! It was such a pleasure to meet you at our Overcomer’s Celebration! Also, I am so glad I purchased your book, “Tuesdays with Tracy.” The book is filled with such amazing devotions that truly speak to the heart, soul, and spirit; It has blessed me and others in a special way! May God continue to bless you abundantly!
Peace & blessings,
Sherry
Sherry, Thank you for your encouragement and for leaving this precious comment! I pray blessings over you also and it thrills my heart that you are enjoying my book. Much love to you!
Tracy, you truly are an overcomer through and through! You have embraced your story as a means to minister to other women and God is using you in mighty ways! So grateful for your heart and passion for Christ, Tracy! May you continue to be blessed and strengthened as you are such a blessing to others!
Thank you Kati!! God has been and continues to be so faithful to me and His people! Many blessings to you!!!!
Tracy, My heart was broken over your childhood. No child deserves that kind of stress! However, we both know that what the enemy meant for harm, God can turn into a triumph! So glad your mother accepted Jesus! How very awesome! I love that you became a counselor! Amazing! Your story thrilled me and is an awesome testimony of how great our God is and how He is always right there, waiting for us to call on Him. I am so proud of your story and delighted that you have a precious family. I produce events and hire speakers all the time. Check out my website at: http://www.smartchicklife.com. I will look for you on FB and friend you. And I will check out your website. Many blessings and favor over everything you touch. God bless you for sharing your story! Diane Carden
Diane, Thank you and you are so right that God ALWAYS leads us to triumph! And in addition to my mom becoming a Christian, she is one of my very best friends, and she is married to a wonderful Christian man and works for a national ministry. Jesus has really shown off in our lives! Woot! I will look for your friend request and I pray blessings over your ministry as well!
Thank you for sharing Tracy! To God be the glory!
He is a good God for sure Christy! Blessings to you!
Yes and amen! So grateful for your vulnerability and courage to share your life and love with others. We are MORE than conquerors through His power in us. So good.
Christine, Thank you and blessings over you precious one!
Tracy, what a blessing it was to be able to move into your dad’s house with his Christian family. Life would have been so different if you had not done that. Your life is filled with helping others and making a difference in their lives. May God give you everything you need to keep doing that.
Thank you Glenda! My fresh start at my dad’s surely shifted my path and even with its own set of challenges, God was faithful and continues to heal, restore, and deliver His grace. I have found that God likes to show off – LOL! Blessings to you!!
After all these years, I had never heard your testimony. Now I understand your “big love,” compassion and wisdom comes from personal experience. Priceless. God has been faithful turning your ashes into beauty and the hope you impart to others is overwhelmingly Him.
Karen, Whether you realize it or not, you have made an imprint in my life and God always uses you to encourage and uplift me. I am so grateful that we met many years ago. Love to you!!!.
Beautiful testimony of God’s faithfulness. Thank you for sharing and pressing in to bring life to those who need it desperately!
Shannon, Thank you so much for taking time to read my story and I so look forward to knowing you more this year!!! Many blessings to you!
My precious friend Tracy, we’ve talked about your story many times, but I had not heard every one of these details. This account is so well written and made me weep… both because of what you went through, and because of the way God has flipped the script and used it for exponential good. His goodness flows, and He works miracles, and He moves mountains for (and through) his beloved children! Because of your faith and obedience, He uses you and your story to bring abundant life to so many. Praise Jesus! Also, how wonderful to be introduced to Melony’s website! Hello and love to both of you. What you do to help others is awesome and inspirational, and I pray that God continues to bless you and your ministries!
Thank you, Shannon! Great to meet you here!
Shannon, Thank you my precious friend. I love you! I’ve need to see you very soon. And I’m so glad you logged onto Melonybrown.com!
Thank you for sharing your story! A great encouragement to me as I am outside-looking-in with many young similar — searching and desperate –young women.
Bridget, Thank you for listening and know that God dearly loves you and has amazing plans for your life, even when you don’t see it or feel it, God is always on the move!
Tracie thank you for sharing your story! I too thought that God had given up on me at one point in my life, I did not understand how he could be letting all the bad things happen to me if he loved me so. I know now that he was preparing me for what I was to do in my life now. I know your story will help others also. I am so blessed!
Teressa, Our God is amazing and I celebrate that you also have experienced God’s love and restoration. Much love to you!
Dear Tracy! I will never forget when you came to FBCS many years ago now and shared your story, it was powerful then and today you continue to love us and God so faithfully, thank you fellow OVERCOMER, I love you right back!!! I benefit and share with others from your spiritual devotions in “Tuesdays with Tracy”, they bless me and others!!! You will definitely hear God say well done my good and faithful servant. Mt 25:21. I am so happy for you and all in your precious family!!!
Ann, God continues to use you mightily in my life and so many others. I so enjoyed my time at FBCS!!!
Life with Christ is definitely full of fresh starts!!!! I am so inspired by the fresh starts He has given you!!!
Addlia,
Thank you for taking time to read my story! God has the LAST WORD on everything and everyone! Blessings to you!