Happiness is a Choice

“Happiness is a choice. I have struggles. Everyone has struggles. Every day, I choose to be happy in spite of my struggles,” Tiffy* shared. * Her real name, used with permission.

Felt Extremely Tingly

Looking back, Tiffy remembers the tingling in her hands and feet and how she had little endurance when running during cheerleading practice in high school. With no reason to know those were symptoms of an invisible illness, she didn’t pay attention to those early warning signs. Wanting to stay in shape after high school, she tried jogging. When her feet felt extremely tingly and went numb, she thought jogging just wasn’t for her. Tiffy became a licensed barber/hairstylist as she loved helping people look and feel their best. A few years later, Robert sat down in Tiffy’s chair to get his hair cut. They began dating and were married in 1996. 

Masking the True Symptoms

When she became pregnant, her extreme vomiting, dehydration, and fainting concerned her obstetrician. It was so severe, it landed her in the hospital. Because of the severity of her symptoms, a neurologist stopped by to chat with her on her fourth hospital visit. The neurologist felt her pregnancy might be masking the true symptoms, so he ordered an EEG and an EKG. “Your results are fine, but I think you have multiple sclerosis (MS). I can’t be sure as we can’t do a spinal tap while you’re pregnant. And I don’t think you can continue working, so I recommend you take medical disability.” She thought, “You’re a quack. You’ve only done a few tests.” But the tingling in her head, neck, and feet were impossible to ignore.

Confirmed the Diagnosis

By the time she delivered her son Chase in September of 1996, her symptoms had disappeared. Likely her pregnancy activated the MS as a month after giving birth, extreme fatigue and vision problems became challenging. “I was afraid to be alone with Chase as I was so tired,” she remembers. The optometrist checked her vision and knew there was a problem. He sent her to an ophthalmologist right away. His diagnosis of optic neuritis (swelling of the optic nerve) was a strong indicator for MS, so he insisted she see a neurologist. “There are six plaques on your brain,” the neurologist shared. “Combined with your previous EEG and EKG results, the MRI confirmed a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis.”

Feared the Worst

“I walked away feeling broken. I feared the worst – that I’d be in a wheelchair the rest of my life. Would I wake up blind? Paralyzed? Even worse was thinking Robert should divorce me and find someone to marry him who would love our baby as her own. I truly felt defeated,” Tiffy remembers. Tiffy’s research into MS ended quickly as she realized it is a debilitating disease that will worsen over a person’s lifetime. “It was all negative, and I knew I needed to stay positive.” Five months after her diagnosis, Tiffy experienced another MS flare-up. She began taking medication to stop the T-cells from attacking the myelin sheath on the nerve fibers. The medicine caused hallucinations, made her feel flu-like, and even more tired. “I didn’t want to stop nursing, but the medication could have hurt Chase, so I did. I felt incredibly sad and guilty that my MS was preventing me from feeding my baby.”

Trusted Him and Gave Him Control

Even though the neurologist advised against any more pregnancies, Tiffy didn’t want Chase to be an only child like she was. “I knew whether or not we had any more children was in God’s hands, so I trusted Him and gave Him control.” She stopped taking her MS meds to prepare her body. In September of 1999, Tiffy and Robert praised God when their son Cade was born. Knowledge about MS changed between the birth of Tiffy’s sons such that she was encouraged to nurse him as long as possible to make her body think she was still pregnant. So, she nursed her baby boy for 14 months. “A week after I stopped nursing, I had a flare-up. Extreme fatigue, numbness in my hands and feet, and double vision all led to needing help with my boys.”

Faith It till You Make It

Soon after Cade was born, Robert accepted a job in Atlanta. Finding a new neurologist was on the top of the list when they settled into their new home as her life-long journey of MS was just beginning. “Over the last 22 years, I have experienced periods of remitting (good days) and relapsing (flare-ups). I have a flare-up about every 17 to 20 months. I learned early on I have to keep a fighter’s mentality. I would not feel sorry for myself. I accepted this was the life God gave me, and I could be negative or positive. I chose positive, because I wanted to give the best of me to my husband and two sons,” Tiffy shared. Any time Tiffy hits a speed bump with her MS, she pushes through. She believes overcoming those tough days is a mindset, so she tells herself, “Faith it till you make it!” until she feels her normal again. Her favorite Bible verse points to her reliance on God. 2 Samuel 22:33 says, “It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.”

Given Me My Life Back

About 17 years ago, Tiffy’s neurologist recommended a weekly shot of Avonex to slow the progression of the MS disease. Robert willingly jumped into a care giver role and still administers the weekly shots. “I’m thankful for the shot, but the two days after the shot are a loss as I generally have flu-like symptoms and fatigue.” Tiffy is the first to admit MS is hard on her body and mind. The constant battle of not having enough energy and feeling extreme fatigue caused her to rely heavily on caffeine, energy drinks, and narcotics for many years. She’s fought against episodes of anxiety and depression with medication. Two and a half years ago, a close friend introduced her to Plexus. Once she learned about the benefits of their gut-health and nutrition products, she knew they might help reduce her MS symptoms. “Plexus has honestly given me my life back. It has helped with my cognitive struggles, given me energy to the point of not needing energy drinks or caffeine, and I sleep so much better. I’ve reduced the dosage of some of my medications and have been able to stop taking others altogether. And when I became an ambassador, I could start contributing financially to our family. That made me feel like I was no longer a burden.”

Family is Everything

“Next to Jesus, my family is everything to me,” Tiffy shared. Just by looking at this picture from last Christmas, you can tell how much she loves her man and her sons. They are her reasons to keep fighting MS. “I’ll never overcome MS, so I’m over-coming. With a positive attitude, I can keep overcoming the struggles that come with my invisible illness,” she shared.

 

Happiness is a Choice

Often there are misconceptions about invisible illnesses. It might sound something like, “You don’t look sick.” Or, “How do I know you really have an illness when you always look so put together and seem so happy?” These pics of Tiffy were taken on good days when she wasn’t experiencing the brunt of her MS symptoms or when she was faithing it until she was making it.   It’s no wonder there are misconceptions about invisible illnesses. It’s hard to believe she struggles with anything when you look at these pictures. Tiffy is living proof that “happiness is a choice!”

My MS Monster

Now . . . for the real side of MS. Tiffy posted the following video on her Facebook page about a month and a half ago when she was reeling from a flare-up. She calls those times of relapse her MS monster. I sincerely ask you to watch this video as it is the most important part of Tiffy’s story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4jWQ1TBIUw Much to her surprise, her video has been viewed almost 2,000 times. The comments she received encouraged her tremendously as her rawness/vulnerability hit a chord with many people. “It opened their eyes to the struggles people with MS face,” she shared. “I appreciate their prayers so much.”  

Leave a reply (below): We are nearing the end of Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month. What is your take away about invisible illnesses, specifically MS, after reading Tiffy’s story?