Please Forgive Me, Part 2
If you haven’t read “Please Forgive Me, Part 1” about Rochelle’s struggle with abuse, please read it before reading the conclusion to her story.
Rochelle’s story takes the same path as many victims in that she too separates from her abuser and takes him back several times before making her final break.
Enduring the Abuse
Rochelle reached a point when she knew she needed help. She asked Dustin to join her in counseling as she wanted to have a better life. Counseling allowed her to release the anger and emotions about the abuse she’d endured, but it only lasted a short time.
Dustin quit his job and took a job with Rochelle’s step-father. About the same time, her step-father had been kicked out of her mother’s house, so Dustin invited him to live with them. With both of her abusers living in her home, Rochelle thought, “How could this be happening?” Rochelle insisted Dustin ask her step-father to leave.
Months later in a fit of rage, Dustin put Rochelle’s face through a glass window. One of her friends saw the abuse and called the police, but Rochelle refused to press charges. “Please forgive me,” he pleaded. A discussion about breaking the chain of violence led to a discussion about having a baby, causing Rochelle to forgive him yet again.
Having a daughter a year later changed Dustin as he loved having a little girl. But the abuse didn’t stop.
“I just became numb [to the abuse],” Rochelle remembers.
Hobbies Cause More Stress
Dustin enjoyed his hobbies and spent a great deal of money buying equipment to participate in them. Rochelle, eight months pregnant at the time, questioned the money he would be spending at an out of town softball tournament when the power bill needed to be paid.
Reaching over, he hit her. Just as she realized she’d been punched, Dustin opened the car door and pushed her out of a moving car.
She landed in a ditch. Her two year old daughter’s screams could be heard as the car drove away. The bright reverse lights of the car caused Rochelle to look up just as the rear tires rolled over her.
Dustin jumped out of the car and ran to her side. “Don’t tell my parole officer or my daddy,” he yelled as he hit her in the face.
Police detectives asked her lots of questions at the hospital, but she told them, “I don’t know how I fell out.” Rochelle’s sister begged her to tell the police the truth. She denied everything.
Turning Point
When their son was two years old, Rochelle decided her latest beating would be the last. Moving in with her mom provided a safe haven for Rochelle and her two children.
A visit to church with some friends was Rochelle’s turning point. Everything she’d been through seemed to lift off her. Feeling empowered for the first time in her life, she asked Dustin for a divorce.
Her resolution diminished when Dustin showed up at her mother’s house and beat her. “You’re coming back to me! I’ll do anything to get you back,” he pleaded. “Please forgive me.”
“I will get back together IF you will go to church with me. Counseling, too. I also want to go back to school to get my GED,” she said with bold confidence. For five months, Dustin followed Rochelle’s demands. Then after returning from church one Sunday, Rochelle discovered Dustin had moved out.
Divorced, But Not For Long
Soon after he moved out, Rochelle received the papers stating their divorce was finalized. Finally completing her GED opened new doors for her. She took a job at the local courthouse as a deputy clerk and headed up the domestic violence cases. Speaking to the victims and offering encouragement became a therapy of sorts for her.
Several months later, her ex-father-in-law called with pleas to help her ex-husband get out of domestic abuse charges from his current girlfriend. She convinced one of the judges to pull some strings, and he was released. Pleadings from her son and her ex-husband caused Rochelle to give in – again – and they began dating. Promises of change were made. After dating a couple of months, Rochelle married Dustin.
Being married again seemed to be right this time. They built their dream home. Their two kids were involved in sports and attended private schools. The abuse against her stopped, but Dustin consistently opposed Rochelle’s attempts at disciplining their children.
Uncovering his repeated affairs led to their second divorce.
Her Knight in Shining Armor
Every girl dreams of finding her knight in shining armor, but Rochelle believed she could never experience that dream. After her divorce, she had suicidal thoughts and realized she had lost her focus on God.
Several of her high school friends introduced her to Michael. Rochelle’s guard was definitely up when it came to trusting him. Slowly, she experienced Michael’s loving nature, his commitment to God, and how he interacted with her kids. After dating for two years, Rochelle and Michael were married.
Not only did Rochelle find the right man, but she also found a job placing abused kids in foster homes. “It is so important to get the right parents to go with each child,” she tells me. The abuse she suffered as a child and as an adult gives her an extra measure of compassion, understanding, and love for these kids.
Rochelle’s face lights up as she shares stories of her life now. It reminds me of Job 42:12: “The LORD blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part.”
To God be the glory!! Rochelle, you are my she-ro!
I so agree, Stacy! Rochelle is helping kids who are facing the same struggles she went through . . . I call that overcoming!
You really never know what type of battles people around you are fighting.
You are so right!