H-O-M-E. Four powerful letters knit together.

Most of us take home for granted. Not Addlia*.

She truly understands what the other 553,742 homeless people in the United States in 2017 faced when they didn’t have a place to call home. Addlia and her son, Jaiden, were among those statistics just a year earlier.

* Her real name is used with permission.

Tough Word

Home has been a tough word for Addlia all her life. Her parents divorced when she was ten years old. Dad was a functioning drug addict, and her relationship with her mom was rocky.

A boy she had previously dated decided to push the limits one night when Addlia was 16. Her “NO” didn’t stop him from raping her. When she learned the rape resulted in a pregnancy, her mother and grandmother encouraged her to have an abortion.

“I remember feeling that precious life being sucked out of me. I fell into a deep sadness and closed myself off.”

Promise to God

Home was no longer where she wanted to be, so she moved in with a friend her senior year of high school.

A relationship in college led to an unexpected pregnancy. “My mother and grandmother thought an abortion was the best path, but I’d made a promise to God that I would never have another abortion.”

It was a lonely time for her as her family was unsupportive and the father was not involved. “Despite everyone else’s reaction to my pregnancy, I was happy and grateful for the life growing inside of me.”

Her Dream Job

Needing help with her newborn son, Addlia moved in with her best friend. “During the year I lived with her, I felt God telling me He needed me. My physical life wasn’t in danger, but my soul was. I gave my life to him.”

Learning to be a single mom was not easy, but with her best friend’s help, Addlia became stronger mentally and emotionally.

Moving back to her grandmother’s house in Atlanta offered her the opportunity to start cosmetology school. Landing her dream job at the MAC cosmetics counter validated the work it took to get her cosmetology license.

But, three hours one-way on the train and bus to get to and from work took a toll on Addlia. Seven years of this was a test of her endurance.

She dreamed of having her own home and her own transportation to get her to a job nearby. Was that too much to ask?

 

Positive Changes

Positive changes finally began happening in 2011. Addlia and Jaiden moved in with her aunt. Addlia owned and ran a salon suite.

“I finally felt empowered: I owned my own business; someone gave me a car; I was active at church; and my son was doing well in school.”

Life seemed to be heading in the right direction. Until . . . Addlia began experiencing anxiety and panic attacks. “They were terrifying. I was truly afraid I was going to stop breathing. At least once a week, I was in the emergency room. I finally admitted I was depressed.”

Her doctor diagnosed her with high blood pressure, and a neurologist discovered she’d been having mini-strokes and had an underlying anxiety disorder.

Worked Three Jobs

Because of these health problems, she had to close the salon. So, her job and its income were gone. Her health was suffering. And her aunt, whom she’d been living with, was going into foreclosure.

Sixty percent of homeless women have children. [NOTE: Addlia and her son are now facing homelessness and joblessness again.]

Resilience is just what Addlia is made of, so she moved back to Albany. After two months of living with her best friend, Addlia was financially able to rent her own apartment. A permanent home!

But to keep this permanent home, she worked three jobs: at a college bookstore, at a call center, and at a makeup store. Each month, her hours were cut at each of her three jobs. Each month for a year, she faced eviction.

“By the end of that year, I lost all three jobs AND my apartment.”

29% of adults in homeless families are working. [NOTE: Addlia has consistently worked three jobs at a time in an effort to not be homeless.]

Two Months at a Homeless Shelter

Knowing each of those jobs were heading in the wrong direction, Addlia proactively took a job at a hotel. Her manager was aware she and Jaiden spent some nights at a homeless shelter. When a room wasn’t booked for a night here and there, he would allow them to spend the night in that room.

As much as her manager helped her, she and Jaiden spent two months at a homeless shelter. “I was ashamed and embarrassed, because I never thought I’d be that low,” Addlia remembers. “Keeping my sanity and focus was a daily fight. I refused to look like what I was going through.”

Addlia believed God was shaping and molding her. Building her character for her future self was painful, but knowing God was with her gave her the strength to keep getting up, going to work, and maintaining a positive attitude.

Rock Bottom

“When we left the homeless shelter, my manager helped us stay in unreserved hotel rooms as long as he could. Until the hotel was sold out for a few days. So, I worked every shift so that I had somewhere to go.”

After a week of non-stop working, her manager supported her idea about moving back to Atlanta. Doing makeup and hair for a wedding in Atlanta confirmed it was time to move. With no job, no transportation, and no home, Addlia and Jaiden moved in with a friend in Atlanta.

“I hit rock bottom. By this time, I’d given up on myself, my calling, my purpose. No one knew how depressed and suicidal I was. I thought about killing myself often. But I would imagine Jaiden’s reaction if he found me dead, and I would fight another day.”

A Light for Others

Some would’ve turned their backs on God, but not Addlia. “Through all the darkness and pain, I continually talked to God. He was the only one I knew I could trust. I didn’t like where I was, because I knew it wasn’t of God. The battle was in my mind, and I was going to fight.”

She hit rock bottom, stayed there for a while, and then she came out fighting. With a stronger and even more resilient mindset.

“I made a choice to change my mindset. I decided to be grateful for everything I had and was going through, because I believed what I was learning would help someone else. God purposed me for greater. Being a light for others fueled me.”

No Longer Be Ashamed of Her Story

With the help of her mentor, Addlia and Jaiden moved into an extended stay hotel. They lived there for a year and a half. A job at a salon helped her regain her purpose.

Deciding she would no longer be ashamed of her story, she posted a video on Facebook. “It was raw and truthful and scary, but there was an overwhelmingly positive response. In fact, it led to my first speaking engagement.”

Adding to her salon job, Addlia began working as a night auditor at a hotel and as a personal assistant to an executive. These three jobs allowed her to save enough money to move into an apartment and buy a car two years ago.

A Place to Call Home

Since then, Addlia and her son have had A PLACE TO CALL HOME! And that home means the world to them.

While some of us have never thought twice about where we will sleep at night, she has fought and continues to fight hard to keep the four precious letters of H-O-M-E knit together.

During the twenty years Addlia experienced one form of homeless or another, she never gave up. Here’s what she learned: “It’s one thing to be overlooked, devalued, or underestimated by others, but don’t overlook, devalue, or underestimate yourself. Don’t give up on yourself. Life can be rough, but don’t stay buried under the dust. Let that time polish you, so you can shine brighter than ever. Your sparkle is needed to encourage someone else in their rough patch.”

 

 

 

 

Leave a reply (below): No matter how many setbacks Addlia has encountered, she believes, “Overcoming is having the courage to make a comeback.” Comebacks definitely take courage.

If you are facing a setback, how has Addlia’s story encouraged you to make a comeback?