Stephanie’s* transformation wasn’t an overnight change. She wanted to be clean and sober, but alcohol controlled her. “I liked drinking,” she shared. “I liked the smell and the taste. And how it made me feel. But I didn’t like how it controlled me.” The generational curses of addiction were real. Stephanie fought hard to break the control they had on her.

* Her real name is used with her permission.

A Transformation in Her Heart

Stephanie’s drinking started at a young age. She liked that first drink her friend’s step-dad gave her. Wanting more, she agreed to having oral sex with him in exchange for alcohol. Her older cousins were willing to buy it for her, as well. At age 23, Stephanie gave her life to Christ. Drinking, smoking, and promiscuous sexual activities were no longer of interest to her. A transformation in her heart began to take place. Working at the church afforded her the opportunity to start building her faith. Moving in with her boyfriend Darius (not his real name) quickly put an end to her job at the church. The pastor didn’t want her spirit of lust to be spread throughout the church.

Downward Spiral

Anger at God welled up inside of her. “I felt put out, and I back slid. I went all out – I drank and smoked cigarettes and pot. Because He took my job and my church family, I wanted to pay God back.” This downward spiral of excessive drinking led to her boyfriend questioning her actions. She finally broke it off with him. For the next eleven years, Stephanie drank every single day. Her daughter not only took care of the household responsibilities, but she also took care of her two younger brothers.

Life Took a Tragic Turn

“My job of five years at McDonald’s ended when I showed up drunk and fell asleep on the job. The alcohol was in control. I didn’t know how to stop. I honestly wanted to drink myself to death. Each time I woke up, I was shocked that I wasn’t dead,” she remembers. Stephanie’s life took a tragic turn when her current boyfriend left a gun on her couch. Her older son, Cepeda, (11 years old) picked it up and accidentally shot and killed her younger son, Solomon, (7 years old). This was a very dark time for Stephanie. Grieving her son and the guilt of not being there when Solomon passed away was too much to bear. “Alcohol helped me cope with the guilt and shame,” Stephanie remembers.

My Heart Was Drawn to It

A year and a half later, Stephanie returned to the very church that told her to leave. “I hated church, but my heart was drawn to it. God was dealing with me about my drinking. I was filled with awe at God’s love and mercy.” Eventually, Stephanie felt her desire to drink left. With a new perspective on life, she moved in with her mom and started cosmetology school. Reconnecting with Darius invited the alcohol demons back into her life. She could not resist the temptation.

Dealing With the Hurt Inside

An unexpected pregnancy caused an internal conflict: this baby is interrupting my plans verses feeling overwhelmed that God would trust her with another life. The life growing inside her was more important than the alcohol, so she quit drinking. At least until her daughter was born. Heavy drinking interspersed with work and taking care of her daughters and son became her daily life. “After every night of heavy drinking, I looked at my car to see if there was any damage to it. I knew I could have easily caused vehicular homicide while I was drunk. My addiction was that serious.” Stephanie began studying counseling at a Christian university. “I knew instantly that God was working on me. Drinking was my way of dealing with the hurt inside, but I desperately wanted to change. I wrote Proverbs 3:5-7 on a sheet of paper and posted it on my wall. Trusting in Him was the only way I could stop drinking.”

Feeding My Mind God’s Word

Slowly, God was transforming Stephanie’s thinking through the deepest emotional connection she had: her daughter. “I knew drinking impacted my life, but I didn’t want it to impact her life. I had to break the generational curses of addiction. It was time to change.” Stephanie began reading and memorizing Scriptures about being sober. “I asked God to help me. I still drank, but I stopped feeling condemned. The less I felt bad, the less I drank. One day I realized I wasn’t drinking anymore.” Her spirit and flesh had been at war for over a year about her addiction. “I was feeding my mind God’s Word. Whatever you feed your mind is what conquers. In the end, God’s Word conquered my desire to drink.”

At age 40, alcohol no longer controlled her. She began living clean and sober. “I learned I had to be honest about the reason I was drinking. That was when God intervened and I was completely released from my addiction.” Restoration with her children was an important part of Stephanie’s total transformation. “Because I keep my eyes focused on God and my children, I haven’t fallen into temptation since the day I said no more,” Stephanie shared. “God led me and loved me back into the kingdom.” Stephanie believes, “Overcoming is becoming someone new, the person God created me to be.”

Leave a reply (below): Stephanie fully giving her heart to God is the reason for her transformation. She gives him all the credit. Living out what she’s learning is the key to her continued transformation.

How is God transforming your heart? Your life?